I don't know how to make friends.

Quite sad to admit as an adult but I don't know how to do it. I watch my children make friends, they play near each other, ask the others names and ask to play. My youngest has a more sinister technique of staring at the other child until they interact with them. Silent yet effective, but she's only little so we'll see how it plays out. 

At school friends were easy, the people in your class. College and uni were much the same. Adulthood seems to be a whole other ball game. I'm introverted by nature, like what I like, struggle to make small talk and am plagued by inner voices that make me question why I said what I said. 

I have a small circle of friends, they're long-standing but I don't have many at all. I don't know how to do it, my most recent new friend became very important to me, easy to talk to, our families merged easily and we shared many of the same interests. She's moved to the other side of the country and hey, it's a struggle to quieten the inner voice saying that she upped sticks and moved hundreds of miles to avoid my friendship but there we are. 

The other issue I have is keeping in contact, my brain is very quick to forget things and that includes people, exist. If you're not in front of me, I will forget about you. Not out of malice or desire, it's something I've worked hard to combat but I don't know how to fix it. I didn't see my dad for several weeks because I just forgot about him, sounds awful I know! And if things become one sided, as they can do, I just forget. I've worked hard to keep up with friends, book things in and reach out and a few weeks turns into months and they aren't reaching out to me. It's hard to quieten the voice inside your head saying they never likes you anyway and when I go there, it's a battle to get back. 

This isn't me saying I want loads more friends, I don't I have good quality friendships with a couple of people but I would like to be a better friend and a couple more wouldn't hurt.

I have young children and they are my priority which in some ways has changed the relationships I have. I have lost friends who didn't have and/or want kids and as such you drift apart. People come and go and that's ok, I'd like to be better at allowing people to stay.