I don't know how to race!

Currently in a hotel on the outskirts of Newcastle as the husband is running the Great North Run tomorrow. It's a great run, we did it back in 2019 (for charity) - he entered the ballot this year and got in so we're back.

Now, I should mention, my husband isn't a runner. He doesn't really enjoy it, doesn't train properly but is annoyingly lucky with a ballot. So first time entering, first time in and he is very good at just getting round. He is also so laid back he's basically horizontal - he feels no pressure to do it in a time, or even finish it, if he were Irish I'd say he were here for the craic. 

I am not, I am not horizontal, I am vertical - races fill me with anxiety, jitters and pressure. My low self-esteem gains a sense of importance and I feel as though everyone will be dissecting my every step. I get in my head, get in my way and as per the horse talk, quit. Or more reastically, just don't enter races. The thing is, I enjoy the medal, the competition and fighting talk the whole way round - it's just getting me there. 

So as my husband lay snoring when I would be anxiously tossing and turning, I think to my dream of the London Marathon which my husband got in through the ballot of course and wonder how I'll be. One day - maybe I'll be lucky enough to find out!